Today I woke up feeling like I wasn’t where I’m suppose to be in life. Actually I went to bed on last night with this uneasy feeling and I knew that the moment that I finally dozed off to sleep that my next day would be filled with overwhelming feelings. Fortunately for me I know the signs and yesterday they started to make their appearances. I don’t get this feeling often but boy when I do it feels like its all down hill from there.
What’s crazy is that I can tell exactly when this dramatic shift took place. You those moments when you get a weft of your past and what could have been or what should have been throws you back a few steps internally. Yeah that’s pretty much what happened to me. One moment, one memory attempted to throw me off course. It’s funny because even the strong person who always encourages, motivates and keeps everyone in check is often in need of someone doing the same for her or him. In this case. It’s me.
So on last night I felt myself weighing all of the scenarios and things that I could have done differently. Even when your that girl who does everything right according to “society’s interpretation of right” you still find yourself stuck or allowing fear to hold you back.
In my case its more fear and the idea of failure. It dawned on me today that everything I need is basically at arms reach to make my business successful. So what I don’t have a car and haven’t had one for 16 months. I have a home and that’s whats important to me at the moment. Although my grass grows sky high and I feel like I’m about to pass out cutting it at times, I’m thankful to God that I have my own home and yard to cut while there are so many homeless. When I woke up this morning I prayed and went back to sleep. Awoke, prayed and went back to sleep. When I finally decided to fully wake up I repeated a declaration to myself, “Today is full of endless opportunities. Opportunities are knocking at my door”. I repeated this throughout the day.
Towards the end of the late afternoon I was strolling on Facebook and realized from a post that TODAY was the Hearts Prayer Call with Pastor Aventer Gray of Relentless. Honey that was nothing but God because the call had just started two minutes before I jumped on. To my surprise Pastor Kim Pothier AKA Real Talk Kim was the special prayer partner guest on TODAY. Listen God knew exactly what I needed. Between Pastor Aventer and Kim they both had me in tears. They both talked about “Getting Beyond Fear” and “Being Fully Present”. Lord that touched my heart. Pastor Kim spoke on somethings that could only be mentions for me to hear. Today was filled with my own struggle and it doesn’t matter if you’ve ever had a personal encounter with one of God’s Anointing or not because God will place you right where you belong as the appointed time. This happened on Today, July 1st which happens to be the seventh month…The number of completion. Whew! Thank you God! This is going to be a month filled with Love, Miracles, Signs, Money, Dreams and Unlimited Opportunities.