02:58am
Have you ever had that moment… Where fear, pain, and worry woke you clean straight up out of your sleep. This was my 02:58… This was that morning were the weight of the world streamlined my shoulders. This was that moment that the devil told me it would be better if you just die. You can’t do anything right. This was my 02:58am.
Crazy! Right? One breathe it was yeah you’re right. The next breathe was like Hell No!
Put on your WAR clothes on SIS! You are equipped for this! Although it may not look like it but you’re really already equipped for this very moment. Yes I have lost some things. Yes I have lost some people, but you are still here, barely standing but still here. Yes all of your bills are behind and your account balance is $242 in the negative. No I’m not able to go grocery shopping and yes at the moment there is a struggle trying to fill up your gas tank at the moment. All of these items are facts. However, You’re still here. I understand that the break-up was very hurtful. I understand that the divorce and it’s process literally took the breath out of your body. There were moments when it felt like no one could take the hurt from you nor the emotions that you’re feeling. It’s your decision rather or not you stay or leave.
I found myself on the floor in the shower and at that very moment it was so overwhelming. That moment that I fell to the floor in real tears I was devastated. I found myself crying out loud like I’d never done before because the weight was heavy and the very thought of it was just so overwhelming. Once the crying ended and the shower water had eventually turned old I knew at that moment that I had to get up and move. Even as I moved my body was filled with so many emotions.
It was at that moment at 2:58am that I realized that the fight was real. It was at that moment that I knew that this fight is my real life! I knew then that this too shall pass and I had to carry on with the remainder of my day with the belief that my day would be better. I had to put on a smile and carry on. I kept telling myself internally “You can do it” and I did!
~Michaela P.